Mashie phoned me last night, he was obviously drunk. The thing is that he was recently living with his girlfriend and their daughter, they moved out to a different city, he found a flat and a job. They got into argument, cause he came back home different than sober, so she said to LilZ. “Your father is stupid… he’s an asshole…etc”. He couldn’t stand her saying things like that to his daughter, so he slapped her. Two days later she signed a contract with him for a new property, although the day after she packed her stuff and got back to her hometown.
That’s actually what I don’t like, although he is a good father, but the problem is, that they don’t suit each other at all, they just keep destroying themselves like I used to, back to the times when I was with M. Mushie is far away, his cousin is here with his family, he is there all alone, so that’s the other person who has got no one to speak to apart from me atm.
– Hiya, I’m phoning as I wanted to sing a song for you
– Go on.
– “Don’t change yoir heart into a stone, while you still have one…”
– (…) How’s stuff?
– There’s no stuff anymore, I’ve got nothing, she took my daughter which way she took my life, I’ve got nothing left to live for… I feel like I’m dead already, but do you know how hard it is to smash yourself to death? I’ve been drinking for 6 days now and it’s just impossible…
I was going through the city yesterday, and there was that guy and his daughter… *crying*
– uhm… have you spoken to her?
– Yeah… she didn’t tell me much. I’m going to finish my beer and off to sleep, pray for me so I didn’t die up here..
– I… will…
This situation was haunting me a whole time before going to sleep, just because I feel completely helpless in that case… Constantly thinking if that’s enough what I’m doing by just being there to speak to, even though I don’t know what else I could do. I cannot change them all, but still I can change myself so I was stronger, and so I could start causing some positive butterfly effects.